Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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