After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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