He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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