her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
