She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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