11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
we made out on top of his cat.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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