Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize