you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
