I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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