like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
