Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
