wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
As shirtless as possible
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
