Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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