it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
