This girl is more easily done than said...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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