i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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