He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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