Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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