just come out here and I will go home with you...
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize