Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
