even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
