How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
