my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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