hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize