Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
