I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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