No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
