try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
