come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
soo... how was my night?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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