Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
