I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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