I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
All the doctor said was why
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
