I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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