I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
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Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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