i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
