You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
