So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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