Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
