no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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