She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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