Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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