The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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