so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have tasted many bathrooms
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