Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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