i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
