Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
