Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
