Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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