he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize