Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
