her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
