Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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