Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
