We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
