hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
