Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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