i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
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Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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