I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
