what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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