No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
