yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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