Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
