Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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