They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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