I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
