Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
