Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Duck Duck Cougar?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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