This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
