who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
