I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
